Family

Through the stories of kids and parents in the middle school trenches, a New York Times bestselling author reveals why these years are so painful, how parents unwittingly make them worse, and what we all need to do to grow up.

"Judith Warner brilliantly challenges the assumption that middle school has to be a chalkboard jungle."--Peggy Orenstein, author of Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex

The French have a name for the uniquely hellish years between elementary school and high school: l'âge ingrat, or "the ugly age." Characterized by a perfect storm of developmental changes--physical, psychological, and social--the middle school years are a time of great distress for children and parents alike, marked by hurt, isolation, exclusion, competition, anxiety, and often outright cruelty. Some of this is inevitable; there are intrinsic challenges to early adolescence. But these years are harder than they need to be, and Judith Warner believes that adults are complicit.

With deep insight and compassion, Warner walks us through a new understanding of the role that middle school plays in all our lives. She argues that today's helicopter parents are overly concerned with status and achievement--in some ways a residual effect of their own middle school experiences--and that this worsens the self-consciousness, self-absorption, and social "sorting" so typical of early adolescence.

Tracing a century of research on middle childhood and bringing together the voices of social scientists, psychologists, educators, and parents, Warner's book shows how adults can be moral role models for children, making them more empathetic, caring, and resilient. She encourages us to start treating middle schoolers as the complex people they are, holding them to high standards of kindness, and helping them see one another as more than "jocks and mean girls, nerds and sluts."

Part cultural critique and part call to action, this essential book unpacks one of life's most formative periods and shows how we can help our children not only survive it but thrive.

A close friendship is one of the most influential and important relationships a human life can contain. Anyone will tell you that! But for all the rosy sentiments surrounding friendship, most people don't talk much about what it really takes to stay close for the long haul.

Now two friends, Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, tell the story of their equally messy and life-affirming Big Friendship in this honest and hilarious book that chronicles their first decade in one another's lives. As the hosts of the hit podcast Call Your Girlfriend, they've become known for frank and intimate conversations. In this book, they bring that energy to their own friendship--its joys and its pitfalls.

Aminatou and Ann define Big Friendship as a strong, significant bond that transcends life phases, geographical locations, and emotional shifts. And they should know: the two have had moments of charmed bliss and deep frustration, of profound connection and gut-wrenching alienation. They have weathered life-threatening health scares, getting fired from their dream jobs, and one unfortunate Thanksgiving dinner eaten in a car in a parking lot in Rancho Cucamonga. Through interviews with friends and experts, they have come to understand that their struggles are not unique. And that the most important part of a Big Friendship is making the decision to invest in one another again and again.

An inspiring and entertaining testament to the power of society's most underappreciated relationship, Big Friendship will invite you to think about how your own bonds are formed, challenged, and preserved. It is a call to value your friendships in all of their complexity. Actively choose them. And, sometimes, fight for them.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

Now in paperback--Peggy Orenstein, author of the groundbreaking New York Times bestseller Girls & Sex, turns her focus to the sexual lives of young men. "Eye-opening.... Every few pages, the boy world cracks open a little bit.... Even in the most anxiety-provoking moments of Boys & Sex, it's clear that Orenstein believes in the goodness of boys and the men they can become, and she believes in us, as parents, to raise them" (New York Times Book Review).

Peggy Orenstein's Girls & Sex broke ground, shattered taboos, and launched conversations about young women's right to pleasure and agency in sexual encounters. It also had an unexpected effect on its author: Orenstein realized that talking about girls is only half the conversation. Boys are subject to the same cultural forces as girls--steeped in the same distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity--which equally affect how they navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In Boys & Sex, Peggy Orenstein dives back into the lives of young people to once again give voice to the unspoken, revealing how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy.

Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Boys & Sex dissects so-called locker room talk; how the word "hilarious" robs boys of empathy; pornography as the new sex education; boys' understanding of hookup culture and consent; and their experience as both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence. By surfacing young men's experience in all its complexity, Orenstein is able to unravel the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of young male sexuality in today's world. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men.

"If you're raising a boy, you need this brilliant book. It is clear, wise, and eye-opening." --Lisa Damour, Ph.D., author of Untangled

When boys enter puberty, they tend to get quiet--or at least quieter than before--and parents often misread their signals. Here's how to navigate their retreat and steer them through this confusing passage, by the bestselling author of The Care and Keeping of You series and Guy Stuff The Body Book for Boys.

What is my son doing behind his constantly closed door? What's with his curt responses, impulsiveness, newfound obsession with gaming, and . . . that funky smell? As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing "need" for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril. Explaining how modern culture mixes badly with male adolescent biology, Natterson offers science, strategies, scripts, and tips for getting it right:

- recognizing the first signs of puberty and talking to our sons about the wide range of "normal" through the whole developmental process
- why teenagers make irrational decisions even though they look mature--and how to steer them toward better choices
- managing video game and screen time, including discussing the unrealistic and dangerous nature of pornography
- why boys need emotional and physical contact with parents--and how to give it in ways they'll accept
- how to prepare boys to resist both old and new social pressures--drugs, alcohol, vaping, and sexting
- teaching consent and sensitivity in the #MeToo culture

Decoding Boys is a powerful and validating lifeline, a book that will help today's parents keep their sons safe, healthy, and resilient, as well as ensure they will become emotionally secure young men.

Praise for Decoding Boys

"Comforting . . . a common-sensical and gently humorous exploration of male puberty's many trials."--Kirkus Reviews

A thoughtful and long-overdue exploration of fatherhood and masculinity in the 21st century that "redefines what it means to be a good father" (Adam Grant).

There are hundreds of books on parenting, and with good reason--becoming a parent is scary, difficult, and life-changing. But when it comes to books about parenting identity, rather than the nuts and bolts of raising children, nearly all are about what it's like to be a mother.

Drawing on research in sociology, economics, philosophy, gender studies, and the author's own experiences, Father Figure sets out to fill that gap. It's an exploration of the psychology of fatherhood from an archetypal perspective as well as a cultural history that challenges familiar assumptions about the origins of so-called traditional parenting roles. What paradoxes and contradictions are inherent in our common understanding of dads? Might it be time to rethink some aspects of fatherhood?

Gender norms are changing, and old economic models are facing disruption. As a result, parenthood and family life are undergoing an existential transformation. And yet, the narratives and images of dads available to us are wholly inadequate for this transition. Victorian and Industrial Age tropes about fathers not only dominate the media, but also contour most people's lived experience. Father Figure offers a badly needed update to our collective understanding of fatherhood--and masculinity in general. It teaches dads how to embrace the joys of fathering while guiding them toward an image of manliness for the modern world.

Modern mothers don't need superpowers to be superheroes. You already have what it takes.

Never has there been more pressure on women. In a post-Covid world, we are expected to dominate in our jobs while simultaneously juggling the needs of our families and our homes. But what about our own needs? With so many balls in the air, finding balance is harder than ever before.

The truth is that you can have it all. The secret is creating an "all" that you love.

Through their extensive research, Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Hollee Schwartz Temple have discovered a paradigm shift in motherhood: more and more mothers are losing their "never enough" attitude and embracing a "good enough" mindset to be happier, more confident and more fulfilled. With inspiring firsthand accounts from working mothers, this updated edition of Good Enough Is the New Perfect is a true road map for the incredible balancing act we call motherhood. You deserve to get what you really want out of your career, your family and your life.

An indispensable guide to welcoming children--from babies to teens--to a lifelong love of reading, written by Pamela Paul and Maria Russo, editors of The New York Times Book Review.

Do you remember your first visit to where the wild things are? How about curling up for hours on end to discover the secret of the Sorcerer's Stone? Combining clear, practical advice with inspiration, wisdom, tips, and curated reading lists, How to Raise a Reader shows you how to instill the joy and time-stopping pleasure of reading.

Divided into four sections, from baby through teen, and each illustrated by a different artist, this book offers something useful on every page, whether it's how to develop rituals around reading or build a family library, or ways to engage a reluctant reader. A fifth section, "More Books to Love: By Theme and Reading Level," is chockful of expert recommendations. Throughout, the authors debunk common myths, assuage parental fears, and deliver invaluable lessons in a positive and easy-to-act-on way.

This is the tough love that boys need to hear today: a candid and whipsmart guide to being a good guy in a world full of assh*les.

In this frank, funny, and necessary guidebook, Kara Kinney Cartwright, a mom who has raised two teenage boys, compiles all the unwritten rules of being a good guy. As it turns out, everyone needs to learn one major lesson to safely avoid assh*le territory: other people are also humans. (Whoa, right?)

Just Don't Be an Assh*le contains everything young men need to know to have positive interactions, make the best decisions, and recognize when they're being jerks. Things like,

Just don't be an assh*le:

- To your family (parents are not your employees)
- To your friends (they'll laugh at you, not with you)
- At work (no one wants to hear your podcast idea)
- To women ("Are you up?" doesn't qualify as romance)
- Online (if you wouldn't do it in real life, don't do it)
- In the world (people unlike you are also people)
- To yourself (it's okay not to have all the answers)

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - The perfect gift for new parents and grandparents this Mother's Day: a bighearted book of wisdom, wit, and insight, celebrating the love and joy of being a grandmother, from the Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and #1 bestselling author

"This tender book should be required reading for grandparents everywhere."--Booklist (starred review)

"I am changing his diaper, he is kicking and complaining, his exhausted father has gone to the kitchen for a glass of water, his exhausted mother is prone on the couch. He weighs little more than a large sack of flour and yet he has laid waste to the living room: swaddles on the chair, a nursing pillow on the sofa, a car seat, a stroller. No one cares about order, he is our order, we revolve around him. And as I try to get in the creases of his thighs with a wipe, I look at his, let's be honest, largely formless face and unfocused eyes and fall in love with him. Look at him and think, well, that's taken care of, I will do anything for you as long as we both shall live, world without end, amen."

Before blogs even existed, Anna Quindlen became a go-to writer on the joys and challenges of family, motherhood, and modern life, in her nationally syndicated column. Now she's taking the next step and going full nana in the pages of this lively, beautiful, and moving book about being a grandmother. Quindlen offers thoughtful and telling observations about her new role, no longer mother and decision-maker but secondary character and support to the parents of her grandson. She writes, "Where I once led, I have to learn to follow." Eventually a close friend provides words to live by: "Did they ask you?"

Candid, funny, frank, and illuminating, Quindlen's singular voice has never been sharper or warmer. With the same insights she brought to motherhood in Living Out Loud and to growing older in Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, this new nana uses her own experiences to illuminate those of many others.

Praise for Nanaville

"Witty and thoughtful . . . Nanaville serves up enough vivid anecdotes and fresh insights--about childhood, about parenthood, about grandparenthood and about life--to make for a gratifying read."--The New York Times

"Classic, bittersweet Quindlen . . . [Her] wonder at seeing her eldest child grow into his new role is lovely and moving. . . . The best parts of Nanaville are the charming vignettes of Quindlen's solo time with her grandson."--NPR

The Opposite of COMBAT bridges the disciplines of child development and parent education with mediation, bringing parents and caregivers the knowledge and skills necessary to help children of all ages navigate their own conflicts, collaborate to solve their own problems, deepen their sibling relationships, and develop trust and confidence in their decision-making abilities.

Written by mediator and parent educator Susan North, this book helps parents resolve sibling disputes using time-honored conflict resolution techniques. Parents and caregivers will learn a step-by-step protocol, enlivened by real-world conflict scenarios. Included are tips for making mediation work, as well as commonsense tools for improving everyday family communication.

In this book, parents and caregivers will learn:

To think of conflict in a new way

To help kids manage strong feelings effectively

To guide siblings toward peaceful conflict resolution

Empower siblings with the skills to be life-long collaborators, problem-solvers, and independent thinkers.

The New York Times bestselling author of The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well explores how today's parenting techniques and our myopic educational system are failing to prepare children for their certain-to-be-uncertain future--and how we can reverse course to ensure their lasting adaptability, resilience, health and happiness.

In The Price of Privilege, respected clinician, Madeline Levine was the first to correctly identify the deficits created by parents giving kids of privilege too much of the wrong things and not enough of the right things. Continuing to address the mistaken notions about what children need to thrive in Teach Your Children Well, Levine tore down the myth that good grades, high test scores, and college acceptances should define the parenting endgame. In Ready or Not, she continues the discussion, showing how these same parenting practices, combined with a desperate need to shelter children from discomfort and anxiety, are setting future generations up to fail spectacularly.

Increasingly, the world we know has become disturbing, unfamiliar, and even threatening. In the wake of uncertainty and rapid change, adults are doubling-down on the pressure-filled parenting style that pushes children to excel. Yet these daunting expectations, combined with the stress parents feel and unwittingly project onto their children, are leading to a generation of young people who are overwhelmed, exhausted, distressed--and unprepared for the future that awaits them. While these damaging effects are known, the world into which these children are coming of age is not. And continuing to focus primarily on grades and performance are leaving kids more ill-prepared than ever to navigate the challenges to come.

But there is hope. Using the latest developments in neuroscience and epigenetics (the intersection of genetics and environment), as well as extensive research gleaned from captains of industry, entrepreneurs, military leaders, scientists, academics, and futurists, Levine identifies the skills that children need to succeed in a tumultuous future: adaptability, mental agility, curiosity, collaboration, tolerance for failure, resilience, and optimism. Most important, Levine offers day-to-day solutions parents can use to raise kids who are prepared, enthusiastic, and ready to face an unknown future with confidence and optimism.

An empowering, timely guide to raising anti-racist, compassionate, and socially conscious children, from a diversity and inclusion educator with more than thirty years of experience.

As a global pandemic shuttered schools across the country in 2020, parents found themselves thrust into the role of teacher--in more ways than one. Not only did they take on remote school supervision, but after the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing Black Lives Matter protests, many also grappled with the responsibility to teach their kids about social justice--with few resources to guide them.

Now, in Social Justice Parenting, Dr. Traci Baxley--a professor of education who has spent 30 years teaching diversity and inclusion--will offer the essential guidance and curriculum parents have been searching for. Dr. Baxley, a mother of five herself, suggests that parenting is a form of activism, and encourages parents to acknowledge their influence in developing compassionate, socially-conscious kids.

Importantly, Dr. Baxley also guides parents to do the work of recognizing and reconciling their own biases. So often, she suggests, parents make choices based on what's best for their children, versus what's best for all children in their community. Dr. Baxley helps readers take inventory of their actions and beliefs, develop self-awareness and accountability, and become role models. Poised to become essential reading for all parents committed to social change, Social Justice Parenting will offer parents everywhere the opportunity to nurture a future generation of humane, compassionate individuals.